visiting aidan's peeps

Well, we met up with Shilo and Dan and the kids today in Astoria. Dan was good, Shilo was good, the kids were super rowdy and good. We ran into Mary (Dan's mom) at the Astoria market so grandma got to see the little man too. We grabbed some popcorn for the kids and took off to see the gang. We joked that they'd send Trinity out to greet us (like they did the first time we met) and Michael said he didn't think he'd recognize Trinity. I assured him, he'd recognize her- because she'd look the same. And she was the first one we saw and she did look the same. Shilo looked good- her hair is darker than before and she's not recovering from just having a baby- so all in all she looked great. Dan is the same and the boys are just bigger stair steps than they were during our last visit. We enjoyed the sun and the kids laughing and the dogs running around and the toys and the popcorn. It was a nice visit. I'm not sure what else to say about it. After it was over, I felt like I'd been holding my breath and was pretty stressed out. But, now I'm fine. I'm glad we did it. It just seemed unfathomable that Aidan would never see his family until he was an adult. Susan was right, it was easier that I ever thought it would be.
**Our visit brought on more dark thoughts for me. We didn't go in their apartment- at their request. They live in public housing and honestly, it just really brought me down. Shilo is working at a pizza place in town. Dan didn't say if he was working, and we didn't ask. I just feel so bad for them not having their baby (our baby) and frustrated that they are raising their children in the environment they are obviously choosing to live in. Shilo is 'trying' to home school the kids- but if she'd just send them to school, they could get breakfast and lunch and she'd only really have to worry about Sean (and Dan). Hmm. Did we 'save' Aidan? Do I feel like we need to 'save' Shilo now- or Trinity- or the other boys? We were never out to save anyone- we just wanted a baby. Shilo kept calling me mommy- and Aidan would call out for me when he felt he had ventured too far. On the way to their place, we practiced saying Hi Shilo- which little blondie did right on cue- so sweet. All the kids were great with the boys. And really, Dan was too. He gave Michael a nice note- thanking us for coming and for just being us- which was nice to hear. I'm so glad he didn't ask us for the things he had previously- that would have wrecked the meeting for me. The nice thing is, now we'll be able to share the photos and memories of the visit with Aidan. He won't be the kid that never got to see his birth family. Shilo told me four times how well we were raising A. The first time I said thank you. Then the second- after that it got a little uncomfortable for me. Was she convincing herself? Was she really happy for our family- now of four? I can only think she was just happy to see him again- healthy and growing, like we tell her in our letters. She did say it was funny to see what her kids would look like if they had hair- as she has a compulsion to shaving the boys heads in mohawks. Mary told us that they only get a couple of photos from William's family a year (Shilo and Dan's other son placed in an adoption) and that they are so happy with our letters and photo books. We'll keep it up (obviously) and maybe plan for another meeting in the future.

11th anniversary

Michael golfed the course across the street from our rental house. The boys and I went to the beach, we walked and played and even napped. It was a sunny warm day with only a little breeze. Puffy white clouds skidded by, reflected in the wet sand of a nearly pristine beach. The hardest part of the day was climbing the dunes while pushing the stroller! Later, we went to dinner at McMenamins. While we waited for our check, a very nice man stopped by our table to say how good our boys were. Then his adult son came, too. Then the man left and came back with his wife- so she could see them up close. It was like a little celebrate the boys party. I wonder if- before dinner- they were saying to each other "Shouldn't those poor babies be in bed?" We did get started around 8:30. The boys colored their menus and ate in relative happiness and only hollered HI! at a few of the wait staff. When we got back to the house we closed our evening with a nice cup of organic whole milk and a trio of Thomas the Train videos.

state fair goodness

So again, I found myself at the fair. Granted, watching the grands play music for the corn husking competition was inspirational- but, due to masses of cars on the road, we didn't tarry at the stalls of pander-ers racing balloon filled clown heads, offering flying tiger rides and presenting spinning Frisbees to paint or cubes to stand in and pose for a digitally printed sepia toned image dressed as whores. We didn't toss rings on soda bottles in hopes of winning a very 'lethargic' goldfish or indulge in garlic stuffed green olives or wonder mops. We did take the time to eat some fair food and check out some creatures dressed in feathers and fur. We clopped like blond draft horses, laughed at earless goats playing king of the mountain and admired the fluffy black ears of a cow who's alarm went off randomly- charging all in the barn to attention. We clucked with chickens, passed warily behind the hind side of taupe colored cows and were wowed by some mighty giant rabbits. Oh happy day, there were no screams this year, when sheep bleated or pigs squealed. Thanks to Sean, we enjoyed the close proximity of a handicapped parking spot- just past the blue gate phone-booth sentinel. We were sad to find we didn't take the time to explore the neon wonderland of rides the boys won't be tall enough to ride for years and missed the pageantry of viewing those dark haired beauties dressed in spangles and satin, the greasy afterglow of any number of fried concoctions or the fluttering ribbons of the 4H show. The scones are it for me. The scones and sitting on foot vibrating stumps with my grandma very near the 'lost parent' tent- that's what I missed. And Smokey the Bear and the giant sturgeon- that, I'm pretty sure, someone stole from the fairgrounds a dozen years ago. So again, I went to the fair. And I took the boys, and will again.

why you don't give kids candy

Sour surprise anyone? This kid never knows what he's going to get! One day its salmon (YUM!) the next its some form of potato (BOO!) a nice brie (YUM!) a tiny sour candy (uh, mmmm, uhhhh, mama NO!) Remember, this is the kid that sniffs a very used diaper and says mmmmm! right before he says bye bye poo poo!

can't keep it a secret

OK- I'm sharing. Take a look at whatareyouwearingtoday.blogspot.com I'm telling you, it doesn't get better than this. This world is made up of varied and amazing peeps. The time, the consistency, the fortitude, the complete comprehension of texture. Gad.
I have one more blog I keep checking, but after the comments I got from the smith family (earlier post) I think I'll hold onto it for a bit.

more thoughts on birthdays

We had a fun day yesterday. The shorties were pretty well behaved, we went to the park and Costco prior to the RAIN. (OK, I am accustomed to a mild climate- and you may have heard me grumble lately of the heat, I am not ready for RAIN!) We sent some yellow roses to Shilo- Aidan's birth mom. Yellow are her favorite, so I hope she enjoys them as we (all) celebrated this little man and the choice she made in placing him in our family. What would we do without her and him? I've been wanting Shilo to see A lately. Dan too and the kids. But for her to see him and hear him be as awesome as he is. Every other day I ponder changing our agreement with them- will Shilo never see this beautiful boy until he is grown? Still, I have huge concerns, so, to try to keep her in touch, I've been making digital vid's nearly each week and will have to ask Cookie and TuTu for production help on our first ever movie for his mom. Of course we send them cards, letters and photos as required- plus some. :) We tried contacting the family that adopted Shilo's other son- at Christmas time, but no response. Are they as leery of us as we are of complications with his bf? Poor A. We'll no doubt figure something out.
The Grands came by bearing gifts in the morning. Well, one gift, and a giant green bag. Aidan loved watching grandpa blow up the beautiful blue Rody horse. So much so, he keeps recreating the event. The problem is, the 'valve' is in the horses a** and it looks like he's involving poor blue Rody in something illegal in most states.
A's been putting a ton of words together lately. Yesterday it was: open teeth, open door, open gate, open cup, open horse, open phone, and on and on.
At Costco one of the women at check out said (entertaining Henry) "Which of these babies looks like you?"
Hmm.

party like a toddler!

We celebrated Aidan's birthday on Sunday with friends and family. We did a craft, ate snacks and played outside in the not-so-sweltering-as-yesterday heat. We had special Helen Bernhard cake- white chocolate with lemon french cream between the layers and white chocolate frosting. Really the most fab cake on the planet! Aidan loved it so much he ate Victoria's piece too- and took a swipe at Henry's!
We dyed t-shirts for adults (and Mr. A). There were animals aplenty and two by two- just right for a young man's second birthday. Thank you to everyone that could come to our little party- and to those who wish our sweet Aidan well on his birthday. Your thoughts and acts of kindness toward this little person creates the gentle man he will become.

cheers papa- and those that work with him!

Michael's group had their annual picnic on Friday so we got to do something special! We went to the country and played and ate and enjoyed the company of others. It was Africa hot, so it was a little uncomfortable weather-wise, still, everyone was in fine spirits. We had a great variety of food and tons of water to drink.

There were lots of little girls and boys for Henry and Aidan to play with and games to play resulting in babies to chase! There was a lake, hills, trees, airplanes, boats, fishing, bats (of the baseball variety) and golf 'mallets'- and a flock of peacocks-phew! We were ALL tired when we got home.

pilot to co-pilot, come in co-pilot....

Our sweet friend Sandra got us passes for the air show- so we went! Arthur and William joined Michael, me and the boys. We had a great time in the free food tent, Arthur got a huge (small) Hawaiian ice, the boys got in/on all kinds of flying machines, Aidan got in (and immediately out) of a bounce house, Henry was brave and shook a blow up soldier's hand, at one point all of the adults wanted to run for cover- but since the boys were wearing borrowed, bright pink ear muffs (from Vi and Sasha) they didn't feel the urge of fight or flight nearly as much as we did. We wore our sunscreen, drank water, waved when told to (sometimes) and were happy to see the smiles and hear the screeches of our oh so happy boys seeing aer-planes and hell-cotters up close and personal.

aer-plane, hell-cotter!!

I should start today's entry by saying Aidan loves transportation. He loves trains (tooh- tooh) and buses (buh- mama) and cars and trucks (also called cars) and he used to call airplanes cars- but then he saw them flying over JJ and Monique's house one night and now they're aer-planes. Boats are boats- but last week we had a breakthrough, there was a bad guy in our neighborhood- so SWAT was called- and everybody knows, when SWAT is called- the media follows. So we had helicopters overhead all day. So, Aidan now says hell-cotter. So sweet.
I got him a hell-cotter t-shirt the other day at the outlet- and its the only thing he's ever insisted on wearing- even with food on it.
OK, today (for fun) I went to our 'local' airport. Well, fun for Aidan and me anyway. Michael helped us get there (via phone) and we parked and unloaded and up to the big fence we go. "Aer-plane!" says blondie- and both he and Hen start pointing to all the aer-planes. Unsatisfied with our vantage point, I start walking. A is sad and its "Bye bye aer-plane!" about 40 times- until we turn the corner (inside the fence! hee hee) and nearly run into a pilot. And then from ground control, Aidan screams out "Hell-cotter Mama!"
((My heart just skips a beat when he puts two words together- sometimes three!)) Henry is nonplused and continues to suck away and cover his head with his arm. "How dare you take me out when I much prefer to nap!" he grumbles around his pacifier (I assume).
So we parked Bob on the 'runway' (!!), spoke to a few pilots and pilots-in-training. It seems they go up every day at 12, 2, 4 and 6. Just our luck to have arrived at 12. By 12:30 Aidan was pretty much as toasty as Henry so we left, having witnessed many hell-cotter depart. Hoorah! We'll do this again!

new presidential hopeful/bad guy

I swear- if you pop a hat and glasses on this kid and stick a cigarette in his mouth he could be FDR for Halloween! Well, that is better than Smeagol!) AGH! I guess if you slap a hat, monical and cig- you get the penguin too! Decisions, decisions!

today at the park

Our boys had a lot of crazy fun this morning. We were at the park at 9:25! Yikes. The trick to the park is.... get there early! We met a nice woman there. She was sweet and supportive of the boys- without knowing they were brothers. Eventually she asked me who my kids were. "That one (pointing to Henry) and that one up there (to Aidan)." Are they twins? No", she answered herself. "They're close in age", I told her and then filled in with "They're adopted". Was it hard to adopt? No, I explained a bit and we had a nice conversation about adoption and her other kids that were 16 months apart- and how it made her crazy. "You know what's funny? You got a kid with blonde hair and blue eyes." "Only as funny as getting a kid with brown hair and eyes." I said. These comments irk me no end- as most of you have probably heard. Should I tell you she was african american? Does it make a difference? NO. Everybody has got something to say. I've decided to keep a list- to see if that helps me to let it go. We'll see.