a change today

Today while Aidan and I play "What can Aidan do?" I get a smile. A huge smile on my face that stretches me somehow. Stretches me from one kind of mom to another. As we till the kitchen- me, the beast and A the farmer calling out to me in encouraging whoops- and Henry out there on the living room floor surrounded by toys Aidan deems acceptable for Henry and not too recently his- I became the mom of balance and security. Don't get me wrong- I will secure this boy- and curly top too- to the day I find is my last- but today, Aidan ran and walked and tumbled about me as if my moon. And every time he started to seriously get behind or wobble ferociously enough to drop his sippy cup he reached for me. Every time. He held my leg like a sick sailor grasps a mast in rough seas. I know I've been grumbling that I can't quietly take three steps from this little bugger lately- but damn. Things change when you feel fingers search for seams. Apron strings.